I had my first set of chemotherapy yesterday so I was definitely nervous for what today would bring. In pharmacy school we learn all about the possible side effects from the many different anti-cancer drugs. There are so many it’s nearly impossible to keep straight.
Well now having gone through cancer as a caregiver and being diagnosed with cancer myself it’s tough not to worry about all of those many side effects. I’m finding that the best thing for me to do is to put aside some of my knowledge on that so I don’t focus on the potential side effects as much and allow myself to focus on staying positive and healthy.
Today I woke up with a headache yet again. Honestly it has to be due to all the stress from what is going on. Took a caffeine pill, iced my head, and ate breakfast. It subsided for a while and I was feeling good. I was able to Facetime with my mom for a bit in the late morning. It’s always nice to be able to chat with a friendly face and I am so thankful for technology!
After we got off I started getting a little bit of nausea and vertigo. They gave me some medication to help and I rested until lunch came. By then I was starting to feel better. Of course that meant I ate too fast and felt bloated and uncomfortable for a little while and so another rest was warranted.
I don’t want to spend my days in here just laying around though. I want to keep my body and mind sharp while I can. Despite not feeling 100% today I did 30 lengths of the hallway and it felt good to move my body. I want to make sure I can keep up with my wild puppy when I’m out of here!
I don’t want to sound like I am tooting my own horn, but I am really proud of myself. Even though my anxiety has been at an all time high through this, I’ve managed to stay positive and rise to meet the challenges I have to face in order to beat this leukemia.
Had you asked me two weeks ago if I could withstand getting multiple blood draws, a PICC line inserted, not one but two bone marrow biopsies within 24 hours, a lumbar puncture, and chemotherapy I would have burst into tears and said no way. Yet here I am with bruises from needle pokes, a catheter in my arm, two holes in my hips and one in my spine. I couldn’t have done all that without the wonderful nurses, doctors, and of course Luke (he was still here when they inserted my PICC line and he came and held my hand at 1 am through the whole thing).
I am thankful for the support everyone is sending our way. Despite how awful this situation is I know that Luke and I are coming out on the other side of things so much stronger. Seriously, there’s nothing we can’t do together even when we are physically apart.
This evening I took a nice bath and it feels so refreshing to be clean. My dinner seemed a bit sad at first. A little individual meat pie with beets and apple slices. Holy-moly I didn’t know how much I needed that meat pie! The ratio of crust to innards was perfect. Luckily I love beets too so what I thought was going to be a disappointing dinner turned out to be quite yummy. Finished it off with a chocolate chip cookie as well!
I will be getting another dose of the Doxorubicin chemotherapy tonight around 9 PM. Hopefully this goes smoothly again and I have no issues. I will try to get a picture of it because it is bright red which is kind of neat! For now I am going to try and think of something to do to occupy my time for a couple of hours until chemo and bedtime.
I cannot even begin to thank everyone for their incredible amount of support. We feel so fortunate to be surrounded (even if it is virtually) by such wonderful and caring people. Thank you for all that you do and someday when we are strong and healthy again we will do what we can to pay it forward. We are truly humbled and send our sincere thank you’s to everyone who is reaching out and doing what they can to help us.