Be Mine

I’m struggling with today more than I expected to. Throughout our whole relationship, Luke and I were very anti-Valentine’s Day. We saw the holiday as a day for companies to make money and instead we spent every day telling each other how much we loved each other and never needed just one day to spoil or surprise one another. That being said, when we finally closed the distance it was so nice to be able to do normal couple things such as celebrate Valentine’s Day in our own way (including discount candy day they day after).

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The Big W

Since losing Luke I feel as if I have been bombarded by two kinds of sympathy. The first are those who reach out to say how sorry they are for my loss and how they can’t imagine what I must be going through. These are the people who typically offer vague help and then disappear as time goes on. Grief tourists.

The second kind of the person offers sympathy by checking in on you without pressure, offers helpful advice, talks about everyday life and doesn’t give you pity looks when you bring up your late husband. They share their memories and give love and laughter to an otherwise dark time.

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The Hardest Two Weeks of my Life

I honestly don’t know how to start this blog post. There are no words that can describe the loss of Luke and the emptiness I feel without him.

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I Don’t Know Where to Start

I’ve been putting off writing this blog post for a couple weeks now. My heart and my head feel like they are drowning.

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CNS Phase complete!

I haven’t updated a whole bunch on my blog lately because the CNS phase of treatment was definitely rougher on me than I anticipated.

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2 years of Marriage

Yesterday was Luke and my two year wedding anniversary. It was not at all how I imagined spending our day together, but I think it was truly a representation of our relationship and love for each other.

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What’s Next?

I have been home for almost a week now and it has been so nice! It’s amazing the difference a good night sleep in your own bed can do.

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Home is Where my Heart is

I’m HOME! I’m home I’m home I’m home!

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An Unexpected Day

Today did not go quite as planned. Doesn’t mean it was all bad though.

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Fatigue

I haven’t written a new blog post lately because it’s been a rough week. I’ve been so worn out and I didn’t even know it was possible to feel this kind of fatigue.

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