Grief is Ongoing – One Year Later

One Year. That’s how long it has been since I last saw the love of my life. One year since I last looked in his eyes and felt whole and complete. One year since I last held Luke’s hand and kissed his warm skin. One year has passed since I saw him take his last breaths and felt a piece of myself go with him.

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Fear of Recurrence

One of the most common things that cancer patients deal with is the fear of their cancer coming back or spreading. This fear of recurrence causes a lot of anxiety in the cancer community, especially when it comes time for scans, biopsies, and follow up appointments.

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One Year in Remission

As of June 18th I have officially been in remission from my leukemia for a full year! I had this in my calendar yesterday, but I still forgot until later in the evening.

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Rantings and Ramblings

I haven’t written a post in a while. After the LLS fundraising competition I truly needed a break from writing and putting myself out there. While it was so rewarding to do something so good, it was definitely tiring (I still haven’t had a chance to send thank you’s to all the wonderful people who donated). Now that it has been a couple of weeks I have had time to rest, recharge, and focus on myself a little more.

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One Year Cancer-versary

One year ago today I received my diagnosis that I had B-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. One year ago my world completely changed and turned upside down. One year ago I went from a caregiver to a patient.

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Put One Foot in Front of the Other

This last week has been a busy blur. At least busy for covid standards. I started round 8 of treatment and this began the start of my new chemotherapy.

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The Big W

Since losing Luke I feel as if I have been bombarded by two kinds of sympathy. The first are those who reach out to say how sorry they are for my loss and how they can’t imagine what I must be going through. These are the people who typically offer vague help and then disappear as time goes on. Grief tourists.

The second kind of the person offers sympathy by checking in on you without pressure, offers helpful advice, talks about everyday life and doesn’t give you pity looks when you bring up your late husband. They share their memories and give love and laughter to an otherwise dark time.

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December 1st

It’s the last month of 2020. It’s hard to believe that this year is almost over. It has felt like the longest year of my life and yet it has flown by. So much has happened I can’t even begin to muddle through it all.

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There Are No Words

It has been a while since I have written a blog post. To be honest, I’m not even sure if I’ll finish this one. I’ve had writers block these last two months and with my parents and Luke’s family here I really just wanted to be present while I had them around.

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The Hardest Two Weeks of my Life

I honestly don’t know how to start this blog post. There are no words that can describe the loss of Luke and the emptiness I feel without him.

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