I Don’t Know Where to Start

I’ve been putting off writing this blog post for a couple weeks now. My heart and my head feel like they are drowning.

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Vulnerable

I’ve had quite a lot of writers block this past week as I started my first round of intensification treatment. I like using my blog to keep everyone updated, but it is also a good therapeutic outlet for me. Writing allows me to get my thoughts and feelings out of my head and sharing them usually helps to ease some of my anxiety.

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Still Here

I haven’t written a blog post in a while because it’s honestly been some of the hardest few days of my life. Let me get you caught up.

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An Unexpected Day

Today did not go quite as planned. Doesn’t mean it was all bad though.

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Fatigue

I haven’t written a new blog post lately because it’s been a rough week. I’ve been so worn out and I didn’t even know it was possible to feel this kind of fatigue.

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It’s been a long couple days

As the title suggests the last few days have felt quite long and I have not had the mental stamina to keep up with sharing with all of you.

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Little Victories!

This morning started off just as crummy as the last two. Still had issues with with my blood pressure being too low but this evening that all seems a world away this evening.

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Downward Trend Begins

Sorry for my silence the last day or so. The lows are finally starting to hit and I’ve had a rough day. Some of my meds can make you have to go while others make it harder to go to the restroom. They try to manage with laxatives but it is a balancing act.

This morning the I was finally able to go but not without a lot of pain (I apologize for the TMI but there’s no better way to explain what’s going on) losing all the fluid has messed with my body. They have been giving me fluids all day long to try and get my blood pressure back up but I can’t really stand more than a minute without feeling faint.

So today begins some of the downward trend of good days as my body gets hit by the chemo. I’ve basically been resting in bed all day. It took a while but I was finally able to eat a little toast and Jam and feel more comfortable in bed. The only way to describe it is 100% pure exhaustion. I can barely keep my eyes open even while typing this.

Please bare with me as I navigate these more difficult days. They say that this next week will be one of the harder ones as my counts continue to drop.

Well that’s all for now as typing isn’t the easiest when you keep falling asleep. It’s even hard to stay awake for Kevin Bacon in footloose! One of the greatest movies ever.

Trying not to Read into the Negativity

You would think that when someone gets a diagnosis as scary and daunting as cancer that there would be nothing but positive energy and love coming from all sides. We have felt all of this but I have also noticed some really negative Nancy’s coming out of the woodwork (due to all the media attention) that have irked me and I honestly just need to vent.

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East Coast Cravings

The last few days since being in here I’ve been working hard to try and keep my weight up. Overall I can’t complain about the hospital food because honestly any time I don’t have to cook for myself is a treat.

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